Topping Guide

Topping often gets painted as the straightforward role, as if it's just about showing up and getting to the point. But the reality is, being a truly great top is a craft. It's about learning to read your partner's cues like a familiar language, building the tension until they're aching for more, and crafting an experience so memorable they're still thinking about it long after.

Maybe you're just starting out and questioning your technique, or perhaps you're seasoned but looking to refine your skills—this guide is here for you. We'll explore everything from the mindset of confident leadership to the tangible moves that will have partners eager for an encore. This is a no-judgment zone, just real talk about how to give—and receive—next-level pleasure.

You might just find that topping transcends the physical; it's about embracing your presence, fostering trust for real vulnerability, and, let's be real, having an absolute blast in the process.

What is Topping?

At its core, topping is about being the penetrative partner during anal sex, but let's not pretend that's all there is to it. Topping encompasses a whole spectrum of experiences - from gentle, romantic lovemaking to rough, primal fucking. It's a role you play, sure, but it's also a mindset, a set of skills, and for many guys, a core part of their sexual identity.

The beautiful thing about topping is that there's no one "right" way to do it. You might be a sensual top who loves taking things slow, building tension with every touch until your bottom is practically vibrating with need. Or maybe you're a power top who gets off on that moment when your partner completely surrenders to you. Some tops are verbal, others communicate through body language. Some stay stone-faced while others moan and talk dirty the whole time.

Here's what topping definitely isn't: it isn't about being emotionless or disconnected. It isn't about using your partner as an object or means to an end. And it absolutely isn't about proving your masculinity or dominance in some toxic way. The best tops understand that real power comes from creating an experience where both people leave feeling like they just had their minds blown.

Debunking the Myths

Myth #1: "Tops just lie there while bottoms do all the work" - Oh honey, no. A lazy top is a bad top. Great topping requires reading your partner's responses, adjusting angles and rhythm, managing the emotional energy of the encounter, and staying present and engaged throughout. You're conducting an orchestra of sensation, not just along for the ride.

Myth #2: "All tops are dominant and all bottoms are submissive" - The gay community loves our binaries, but human sexuality is way messier (and more interesting) than that. Plenty of power bottoms are calling the shots from below, and lots of tops love being told exactly what their partner wants. Dominance and submission are about power dynamics, not which position you prefer.

Myth #3: "Topping is easier than bottoming" - Try maintaining an erection while coordinating a complex physical activity, reading someone's subtle signals, and managing your own pleasure while ensuring your partner is having the time of their life. Oh, and you're probably also supporting some of your body weight and trying not to come too quickly. Easy? Not so much.

Myth #4: "Real men are always tops" - This tired stereotype needs to die in a fire. Your masculinity isn't determined by which hole you prefer. Some of the manliest guys you'll meet love nothing more than getting their brains fucked out, and some gentle souls are absolute animals when they're behind you. Your preferences are valid, full stop.

The Topping Spectrum

Just like there's no one way to be gay, there's no one way to top. You might identify as 100% top - the idea of bottoming just doesn't do it for you, and that's totally valid. Or maybe you're top-versatile - you have a strong preference for topping but you're open to switching sometimes. Some guys are service tops who get off on giving their partner exactly what they want, even if that means following directions rather than leading.

Then there are the specialized tops. The size queens' delight who've learned to work their above-average equipment with care and skill. The marathon tops who can pound away for an hour without breaking a sweat. The romantic tops who make love like they're in a perfume commercial - all soft touches and intense eye contact. Every flavor is valid, and most experienced guys have sampled several varieties before figuring out what works for them.

Why People Love Topping

Let's get real about the appeal. For many tops, it's about that moment of connection - when you first slide in and your partner's eyes roll back in their head. There's something primal and intoxicating about feeling someone open up for you, literally and figuratively. It's vulnerability and trust wrapped up in one incredibly hot package.

"The first time I topped, I finally understood what all the fuss was about," shares Marcus, 28. "Feeling him clench around me, hearing those little sounds he made when I hit the right spot - it wasn't just physical, it was like we were speaking this secret language only we knew."

For others, topping scratches an ** control** itch that nothing else quite touches. Not in a creepy, manipulative way, but in that delicious moment when your partner hands over the reins and says, in whatever language they're speaking, "Show me what you've got." You're driving the bus, choosing the destination, controlling the speed and intensity. When they start making those desperate sounds and pushing back against you? That's when you know you've got them exactly where they want to be.

Some tops are all about the visual. They live for that view - their partner's back arching, their shoulders tensing, the way their body moves in response to every thrust. In doggy style, you get to watch your cock disappear inside them over and over. In missionary, you can see their face transform as they get closer to the edge. It's like having a front-row seat to the best show on earth, and you're the star.

The psychological thrill shouldn't be underestimated either. Knowing you're literally inside someone else, that you're as close as two humans can physically be - that's powerful stuff. When they start begging for more, when they tell you you're hitting spots they didn't know existed, when they come with your name on their lips? That's an ego boost that'll carry you through a week of bad meetings and boring obligations.

And let's not forget the physical pleasure. A good ass (or mouth) wrapped around your cock can feel absolutely incredible. The warmth, the pressure, the way talented bottoms can work those internal muscles - it's like getting the world's best custom massage, but for your dick. When you find that perfect rhythm together, when everything clicks into place? Heaven.

Mindset Matters

Before we dive into the practical stuff, let's talk about what's happening between your ears. The biggest difference between an okay top and an amazing one isn't technique - it's mindset. Performance anxiety is real, but here's the secret: shift from performance to presence.

Ground yourself before sex. Take thirty seconds to feel your feet on the floor, notice your breathing, and set an intention. Not a goal like "I must last forty minutes" but something like "I want us both to feel connected and good." This subtle shift from outcome to experience changes everything.

Reframe those nerves as excitement. Your body actually can't tell the difference between anxiety and anticipation - it's your brain that labels it. So when your heart's racing and your palms are sweaty, tell yourself "I'm excited to share this experience" instead of "I'm nervous I'll mess up."

Set intentions, not expectations. Expectations create pressure: "I need to be hard instantly, last forever, and make them come screaming." Intentions create space: "I want to explore what feels good for both of us and stay curious about where this goes." One sets you up for disappointment, the other for discovery.

Remember: you're not auditioning for a porn role. You're sharing pleasure with another human who probably has their own insecurities. The goal isn't perfection - it's connection.

Getting Started

So you're ready to give topping a try, or maybe you've done it a few times but want to feel more confident. First things first - let's talk about the conversation. You know, that sometimes awkward but always necessary chat about what you both want. Here's the thing: asking for what you want isn't just okay, it's sexy as hell.

Try something like: "I've been thinking about being inside you all week, but I want to make sure we both get exactly what we want. What drives you crazy? What should I definitely do more of?" See how that frames it as collaboration rather than interrogation? You're telling them you're interested while opening the door for them to share their desires.

Safety First

Let's get specific about keeping everyone safe and healthy:

STI Testing: Get tested every 3 months if you're sexually active, even if you always use condoms. Many STIs are asymptomatic, and knowing your status shows you care about your partners. Bring recent results to the conversation - it's confident, not clinical.

PrEP Facts: If you're starting PrEP, wait 7 days for anal protection. It doesn't protect against other STIs, so condoms are still smart for new partners. Don't assume someone on PrEP wants to go condom-free - always ask.

Condom Mastery:

• Check expiration dates (yes, they expire)
• Never store in wallets or cars (heat damages latex)
• Use water-based or silicone lube (never oil-based which breaks down latex)
• Pinch the tip before rolling on to prevent air bubbles
• Practice alone so you're smooth when it counts

Emergency Plan: If a condom breaks, stop immediately. Consider PEP (post-exposure prophylaxis) within 72 hours if there's HIV risk. Get tested in 2-3 weeks and again in 3 months. Having a plan reduces panic moments.

Preparation Beyond the Physical

Preparation starts before you get naked. Take a shower, sure, but also take some time to get in the right headspace. Are you feeling nervous? That's normal and honestly kind of sweet - it means you care about doing a good job. Take some deep breaths, remind yourself that sex is supposed to be fun, not a performance review.

When it comes to protection, have the conversation early and have it clearly. "I always use condoms" or "I'm on PrEP and recently tested" - whatever your situation is, own it without shame. Bring your own supplies (condoms, lube - and bring more than you think you'll need) and don't rely on your partner to have everything. Nothing kills the mood like having to pause the action to hunt for supplies.

The First Time Reality Check

Your first time topping might be awkward, and that's completely okay. You might lose your erection when you're putting on the condom (pro tip: practice putting condoms on yourself when you're alone, maybe while watching porn - it helps build the association). You might not be able to find the hole right away (totally normal, happens to everyone). You might come in thirty seconds or you might not be able to come at all. All of this is part of the learning curve.

Start slow - like, really slow. Use plenty of lube on both yourself and your partner. When you think you've used enough, add more. Press against their hole gently, don't just ram it in. Let them push back against you when they're ready. Once the head pops in, pause. Let them adjust to the sensation. Ask how they're doing. Then, and only then, start working your way in slowly.

Pay attention to their responses. Are they pushing back against you eagerly? Green light to pick up the pace. Are they tense or pulling away? Slow down, add more lube, check in. Good sex is like a conversation - you're constantly reading and responding to feedback, both verbal and non-verbal.

Building Your Confidence

Confidence as a top doesn't come from pretending you know everything - it comes from being genuinely interested in your partner's pleasure and being willing to learn. Ask questions: "Does this feel good?" "Do you like it when I go deep or shallow?" "Tell me when you want it harder." Most partners would rather guide you to what feels amazing than suffer through you guessing.

Remember that every bottom is different. What drove your last partner wild might do nothing for this one. Some guys love getting pounded hard and fast, others prefer slow, deep strokes. Some need constant prostate stimulation, others find it too intense. Your job isn't to have a signature move - it's to figure out what this particular person needs right now.

Tips & Techniques

Let's get into the core techniques that separate good tops from legendary ones. First up: angles are everything. That prostate you're trying to hit? It's not straight in and up - it's more like towards their belly button, but everyone's anatomy is slightly different. Try adjusting your angle by changing positions or lifting their hips with a pillow. When you hit the right spot, you'll know - their whole body will tell you.

Lube Mastery

This deserves its own section because lube can make or break the experience:

Water-based lubes are condom-safe and easy to clean but can get sticky. Great for beginners because they're versatile.

Silicone lubes last forever and stay slippery, perfect for marathon sessions. Not ideal for silicone toys though.

Hybrid lubes combine the best of both - long-lasting but easier to clean than pure silicone.

Application technique matters: Warm the lube in your hands first (cold lube is a mood killer). Apply to both your cock and their hole. Use a lube shooter for deeper coverage if they're experienced. Listen for squeaking sounds - that's your cue for more lube. Increased friction isn't "tighter" - it's "dryer."

Reapplication without breaking rhythm: Keep the bottle nearby and practice adding more with one hand while maintaining motion with your hips. Or make it part of the show - pull out slowly, add lube while they watch, slide back in.

Rhythm variation separates the experienced from the fumbling. Start with consistent, moderate strokes to help your partner relax and open up. Once they're into it, start playing with patterns: three deep strokes, two shallow ones, pause, repeat. Or try gradually increasing your speed until they're right on the edge, then slow way down. The key is unpredictability within a general framework of building intensity.

Don't be a one-position wonder. Missionary lets you see their face and kiss them, but it can be harder to get the right angle. Doggy style gives you incredible depth and that hot visual, but you lose eye contact. Try putting them on their side with one leg up - it hits different spots and lets you play with their cock at the same time. Standing up against a wall? Perfect for quick, urgent sex. Each position offers different sensations, so treat them like tools in your toolkit.

The Art of Dirty Talk

Verbal skills can elevate good sex to mind-blowing. Start simple: "You feel so good wrapped around me" or "I love being inside you." As you get more comfortable, get more specific: "Your hole is so hungry for my cock" or "I'm going to fuck you until you can't remember your own name." The key is authenticity - if it feels forced or ridiculous to you, it'll sound that way to them too.

Some bottoms love being objectified (in a consensual way): "You're just a hole for my cock" or "This ass belongs to me now." Others prefer encouragement: "You're taking me so well" or "Look how good you are at this." Pay attention to how they respond - if they get more vocal or their cock twitches, you're on the right track.

Physical Techniques That Drive Them Wild

The swirl: Once you're fully inside, rotate your hips in slow circles. It hits the prostate from every angle and drives most bottoms absolutely crazy. Combine it with shallow thrusts for maximum effect.

The tease: Pull almost all the way out, pause with just the head inside, then slam back in slowly. Do this when they're really worked up - the anticipation will have them begging.

The reach-around: In doggy style, lean forward and stroke their cock in time with your thrusts. Or reach around and play with their nipples, pinch their neck, cover their mouth. The dual sensation of getting fucked while having their cock stroked can trigger incredibly intense orgasms.

The pressure point: Press down on their lower back (gently!) while thrusting in missionary. It changes the internal pressure and can make them feel incredibly full.

Managing Your Own Pleasure

Here's something nobody tells you: learning to control your orgasm is a skill, and like any skill, it takes practice. If you're getting too close, try thinking about something completely unsexy (baseball statistics work for some guys). Change positions, which gives you a natural break. Slow down and focus on making them feel good instead of chasing your own orgasm.

Some tops find that kegel exercises help them maintain control. Others discover that certain condoms reduce sensation enough to help them last longer. And some realize they're just going to be quick their first time with a new partner - the excitement is too much. That's okay too, as long as you're willing to go again after a break or get them off in other ways.

Edging yourself during solo play can help you learn your body's signals. Get close to coming, then back off, repeatedly. You'll start to recognize the point of no return and learn how to hover right on that edge. Plus, the orgasms you have after edging are usually way more intense - win-win.

Common Challenges

Let's talk about the real stuff - the challenges that every top faces but nobody wants to admit. First up: performance anxiety. It happens to everyone, even the guys who seem like sexual superheroes. Maybe you can't get hard when you want to, or you lose your erection right when things are getting good. Maybe you're so focused on being a good top that you can't relax enough to enjoy yourself.

The solution? Reframe the narrative. Sex isn't a performance where you're being graded - it's an experience you're sharing. If your cock isn't cooperating, use your fingers, your mouth, your whole body. Make them feel so good they won't care how it happened. Often, once the pressure's off, your body will respond naturally.

"I used to panic when I'd lose my erection," admits James, 34. "Then I realized I could still make my partner feel incredible in other ways. The funny thing is, once I stopped obsessing about it, it stopped happening. Now I just focus on having fun, and everything works better."

The Condom Conundrum (Expanded)

Condom issues are practically a rite of passage, but most are preventable with the right knowledge:

Latex vs Non-Latex: Latex allergies are real - symptoms include itching, burning, or rashes. Polyurethane or polyisoprene condoms work great and feel different. Keep both on hand if you're unsure.

Storage Matters: Heat and friction damage condoms. That wallet condom from 2019? Throw it out. Store them in a cool, dry place and check expiration dates regularly.

When Condoms Break:

1. Stop immediately
2. Assess exposure risk (when were you last tested?)
3. Consider PEP within 72 hours if HIV exposure is possible
4. Get tested in 2-3 weeks and again in 3 months
5. Learn from it - were you using enough lube? Right size?

Proper Removal: Hold the base when pulling out to prevent spillage. Tie it off and dispose properly (not in the toilet).

Size and Confidence Issues

Size anxiety affects tops probably more than any other group. Too big and you're worried about hurting them. Too small and you're worried they won't feel anything. Here's the truth: technique matters way more than inches. Guys with huge cocks often rely on size alone and end up being lousy lays. Guys with smaller equipment learn to work angles, rhythm, and their whole body.

If you're on the larger side: go slow, use lube generously, and let them control the initial penetration. Some positions (like them on top) let them take you at their own pace. If you're smaller: focus on positions that create deeper penetration (like doggy style with their shoulders down), use your whole body during sex, and become a master at hitting the prostate. Your fingers and toys can provide additional stimulation.

Emotional Challenges

Topping can bring up unexpected emotions. Some guys feel guilty about the aggressive aspects, especially if they were raised to be gentle. Others struggle with the responsibility of being "in charge" of someone else's pleasure. These feelings are normal and worth exploring.

Talk about these feelings with partners you trust. Many bottoms actually love the intensity and don't want you holding back. Establish safe words so you both know you can stop anytime. Remember that rough sex with consent isn't violence - it's just another way to play.

Post-sex drop happens to tops too. You might feel empty or sad after the intensity of sex, especially if it was particularly rough or emotional. Aftercare isn't just for BDSM - cuddling, talking, sharing some water, or just lying together quietly can help both of you transition back to normal headspace.

Aftercare for Tops

Aftercare isn't just for bottoms - tops need it too, just differently. After that intense experience of being in control and responsible for someone else's pleasure, you might feel suddenly vulnerable or emotionally raw.

Physical aftercare: Clean up together - it's intimate and practical. Share water or a snack. Maybe take a shower together, letting the water wash away the intensity.

Emotional aftercare: Check in with simple questions: "How are you feeling?" "Was everything good for you?" Share what you enjoyed: "I loved when you..." This isn't fishing for compliments - it's creating closure and connection.

Processing space: Some tops need a few minutes alone to decompress. That's normal. Communicate it: "I need five minutes to process, then I'll be right back to cuddle." It's not rejection - it's self-care.

The come-down: That empty feeling after intense sex? It's your brain chemistry rebalancing. Oxytocin and endorphins spike during sex, then crash. Planning something comforting for after - favorite show, takeout, cuddling - helps smooth this transition.

Handling Rejection and Mismatched Desires

Rejection happens to everyone. Maybe they're not feeling it tonight, or they prefer a different type of top, or the chemistry isn't there. How you handle it says everything about your character.

Graceful responses: "Thanks for being honest - I appreciate that" or "No worries at all, enjoy your night" shows maturity. Don't ask for explanations or try to convince them. Their "no" is complete information.

Managing disappointment: Feel your feelings but don't take it personally. Sexual compatibility is complex - it's not a referendum on your worth. Sometimes it's timing, sometimes it's preference, sometimes it's just not right.

Learning from it: If appropriate, you might ask for feedback: "I'm always looking to improve - anything I should know for next time?" But only if the vibe allows it, and be prepared for honest answers.

Keeping perspective: Every "no" gets you closer to an enthusiastic "yes" with someone who's genuinely excited to be with you. Quality over quantity always wins.

Topping with Disabilities or Chronic Conditions

Disability doesn't disqualify you from being an amazing top. It just means getting creative and communicating more clearly.

Physical adaptations: Limited mobility? Focus on positions that work for you - them on top, side positions, or using furniture for support. Chronic pain? Time your encounters when symptoms are managed, and have backup plans if symptoms flare.

Medical considerations: Diabetes affecting erections? Work with your doctor and focus on other pleasure skills. Chronic fatigue? Shorter, more intense sessions might work better than marathons.

Communication is key: Be upfront about what works and what doesn't: "I sometimes have trouble maintaining erections, but I give incredible head and love using toys." The right partners will work with you, not against you.

Tools and aids: Cock rings, strap-ons, vibrators, and positioning pillows aren't "cheating" - they're tools for pleasure. Many disabled tops report their sex lives improved once they embraced assistive devices.

Sober vs Substance-Influenced Sex

Sober sex can feel more vulnerable but often leads to better connections and more reliable performance. You're fully present, memories are clearer, and consent is unambiguous.

Navigating substance use: If you choose to use substances, set boundaries first: "I'm only having one drink" or "No chems for me tonight." Know your limits and stick to them.

The performance trade-off: Alcohol might calm nerves but can make erections unreliable. Weed might enhance sensation but can cause anxiety or paranoia. Be honest with yourself about what works for you.

Chemical cocktails: Mixing substances increases risks exponentially. If you're new to topping, consider learning sober first - then you know your baseline before adding variables.

Recovery and sex: If you're in recovery, you're not alone. Many sober tops find their sex lives improve dramatically once they learn to manage anxiety without substances. There are even sober sex parties and communities for those who want to explore without pressure to use.

Topping in Relationships vs Casual Encounters

Relationship topping allows for deeper exploration - you learn each other's bodies, preferences, and rhythms over time. You can try riskier fantasies because trust is established. Sex often becomes more efficient and satisfying as you both learn exactly what works.

Casual encounters require more communication upfront since you don't have shared history. Be more explicit about boundaries, preferences, and safer sex practices. The excitement of novelty can be incredibly hot, but you'll need to work harder to read someone new.

The relationship evolution: Long-term couples often find topping roles evolve - maybe you switch more, or develop signature moves that become "yours." Some find their preferences change over years together.

Keeping it fresh: Even in relationships, stay curious. "Remember that thing we tried last month? Want to explore that more?" or "I read about this technique - interested in experimenting?" Continuous learning prevents stagnation.

Finding Your Community

The internet has made finding your topping tribe easier than ever. r/topsandbottoms is a goldmine of real talk about gay sex - guys sharing experiences, asking questions, and occasionally posting incredibly hot stories. You'll find everything from technical advice ("How do I last longer?") to philosophical discussions ("What does topping mean to you?").

r/gaybros covers more than just sex, but the community is sex-positive and you'll find plenty of topping discussions mixed in with sports talk and grilling tips. It's a good reminder that your sexual preferences are just one part of who you are - you can be a top who loves football and craft beer, or one who collects vintage vinyl and bakes sourdough.

Apps and Dating

Grindr and Scruff let you filter by position, making it easy to find compatible partners. But don't let the apps limit you - plenty of "vers" guys are open to bottoming for the right top, and some "bottoms" might want to switch if the chemistry's right. Your profile should be honest but not limiting. "Experienced top who loves making bottoms see stars" is way more appealing than "Total top, no exceptions."

Recon caters to kinkier crowds, including guys into dom/sub dynamics that often pair naturally with topping. Even if you're not into heavy BDSM, you might find bottoms who love the psychological aspects of being topped - the surrender, the service, the intensity.

Real-World Connections

Gay sex clubs and bathhouses offer opportunities to practice topping in a relatively low-pressure environment. Everyone's there for the same reason, rejection is less personal, and you can learn a lot by watching experienced tops work. Start by observing if you're nervous - most places have areas where you can watch without participating.

Safety in public spaces: Before diving in, assess the venue. Are staff visible and helpful? Are there clear rules posted? Trust your instincts - if something feels off, leave. Bring your own protection even if they provide it, and establish your boundaries clearly: "I use condoms every time" or "I'm only topping tonight."

Sex parties often attract experienced bottoms who know exactly what they want and aren't shy about asking for it. This can be great for building confidence - these guys will tell you exactly how to make them feel good. Plus, group settings can take pressure off - if you don't perform perfectly with one partner, there are others to try with.

Group dynamics: In group settings, communicate clearly: "I'm interested in topping, condoms required." Don't feel obligated to play with anyone who makes you uncomfortable, and have an exit strategy - drive yourself or know when the last train leaves.

Workshops and classes exist in most major cities. Topics might include "Topping for Beginners," "Progasms: Prostate Play for Tops and Bottoms," or "Rough Sex 101." You'll learn techniques, meet like-minded guys, and realize everyone has the same questions and anxieties you do.

Related Adventures

Ready to expand your horizons? Prostate play isn't just for bottoms - learning to stimulate your own prostate (either solo or with a partner) can make you a better top. You'll understand what feels good from the inside, which helps you aim better when you're topping. Plus, prostate orgasms are intense and can add variety to your own pleasure.

BDSM for Beginners explores power dynamics that many tops find naturally appealing. Even if you're not into whips and chains, learning about consent, negotiation, and reading your partner's responses can level up your topping game significantly.

Edging and Orgasm Control teaches techniques for lasting longer and having more intense orgasms - skills every top should have in their toolkit. Learning to ride that edge between pleasure and orgasm can turn you into a marathon top who can fuck for hours.

Dirty Talk Mastery goes deeper into verbal skills that can transform good sex into unforgettable encounters. From simple encouragement to elaborate role-play scenarios, your voice can be as powerful as your cock.

Gay Sex Beginners Guide covers the basics we all should have learned but probably didn't. If you're new to gay sex entirely, start here for foundational knowledge about safety, communication, and pleasure.

Bottoming Guide might seem like the opposite of what you need, but understanding what bottoms experience makes you a more empathetic and skilled top. Plus, you never know when you might want to switch things up.

Group Sex Etiquette for when you're ready to explore topping in group settings. Different rules apply when there are more than two people, and learning them prevents awkward moments.

Kinky Date Ideas can help you plan encounters that go beyond basic bedroom sex. From public play to elaborate role-play scenarios, keeping things fresh prevents topping from getting routine.

Aftercare and Emotional Connection covers what happens after the sex is over - an often overlooked but crucial part of being a great top. Learning to help partners come down from intense experiences builds loyalty and ensures everyone feels good about what just happened.

Sexual Confidence Building offers strategies for overcoming anxiety and owning your desires. Confidence is sexy, and these techniques work whether you're topping, bottoming, or anything in between.

Remember, becoming a great top is a journey, not a destination. Every partner teaches you something new, every encounter offers opportunities to learn. Stay curious, stay present, and above all, stay focused on mutual pleasure and connection. The gay community needs more tops who care about being good at what they do - welcome to the club, we're glad you're here.