Exploring Bisexuality Men

Maybe you’ve felt it—a flicker of curiosity during a movie scene, or a sudden, unexpected pull toward someone you never expected to notice. That quiet “what if?” that lingers in the back of your mind isn’t a flaw or a fantasy. You’re in good company, and you’re certainly not the only man wondering whether there’s more to your story than the one you’ve been told.

Think of embracing bisexuality as a man like discovering you have an all-access pass to a world you were told had only one entrance. Yes, it can be dizzying at first—new attractions, unfamiliar feelings, questions about where you fit. But it’s also incredibly freeing. Whether you’re just beginning to ask questions, already identify as bi, or find yourself in the “I’m not not into this” space, consider this your laid-back guide to exploring bisexuality as a man.

What is Bisexuality? (And What It Definitely Isn't)

Bisexuality is the capacity to be attracted - romantically, sexually, emotionally, or all three - to more than one gender. Simple, right? Well... not quite. Let's unpack this suitcase because it's definitely not the neat little package society tries to sell us.

First off, bisexuality isn't binary. Despite what the "bi" prefix suggests, modern bisexual identity includes attraction to all genders, not just men and women. Think of it like having a preference for tall people - you might generally go for tall folks, but that doesn't mean you'd never date someone shorter. Bisexuality works similarly, just with gender instead of height.

Now, let's tackle those pesky myths that seem to follow bisexual men around like stubborn shadows:

Myth #1: "You're just confused/greedy/in denial" - Nope, nope, and nope. Bisexuality isn't confusion any more than being attracted to both blondes and brunettes is confusion. You're not greedy for having a bigger dating pool - you're just working with more options. And you're definitely not in denial about being gay; you're in acceptance about liking multiple genders.

Myth #2: "Bi men are just gay men who haven't come out fully" - This one is particularly insulting because it erases your identity completely. Bisexual men exist. They're not "half gay" or "half straight" - they're fully bisexual. It's not a stepping stone, it's a destination.

Myth #3: "You have to be 50/50 attracted to men and women" - Your bisexuality doesn't come with a required gender ratio. Maybe you're 80% into women and 20% into men. Maybe it fluctuates. Maybe you're more romantically attracted to one gender and physically to another. It's all valid. Think of sexuality like a dimmer switch, not an on/off button.

Myth #4: "Sleeping with men makes you less masculine" - Let's kill this toxic idea right now. Masculinity isn't defined by who you sleep with - it's defined by how you carry yourself, how you treat others, how you live authentically. Some of the most masculine guys you'll ever meet are the ones getting on their knees for other dudes on Saturday night and grilling steaks on Sunday afternoon.

Bisexuality also comes in delicious flavors. There's heteroromantic bisexuality (sexually attracted to multiple genders but romantically to opposite gender), homoromantic bisexuality (sexually fluid but romantically into same gender), pansexuality (attraction regardless of gender), and fluid sexuality where your attractions shift over time. It's like a sexual orientation buffet, and you get to sample what appeals to you.

Why People Love Being Bisexual

"Honestly? It's like having superpowers," laughs Marcus, 32, who realized he was bi at 28. "I used to think I was broken because I couldn't stop noticing how hot my wife's brother was. Once I accepted I was bi, it was like someone turned up the color saturation on my whole life."

Let's count the ways bisexuality rocks:

The Expanded Universe of Attraction - Remember when you got your first smartphone and discovered there were apps for everything? Bisexuality is like that for your love life. Suddenly, everyone at the party is potentially your type. That cute barista with the sleeve tattoos? Option. Your female coworker who always gets your jokes? Option. The couple at the gym you've been crushing on? Double option.

Emotional Superpowers - Many bi men report feeling more emotionally intelligent because they've had to examine their feelings so deeply. "Understanding my bisexuality forced me to get real with myself about what I actually want," shares David, 45. "That honesty spills into every relationship I have, romantic or otherwise."

Breaking Free from the Matrix - There's something revolutionary about rejecting the "either/or" script society wrote for you. Bisexual men often describe feeling freed from performative masculinity. You don't have to pretend to only notice women anymore. You can admit that Michael B. Jordan is ridiculously attractive without qualifying it with "no homo."

The Best of Both Worlds - Different genders bring different energies to relationships. Maybe you love the emotional openness you experience with men and the different kind of intensity with women. Maybe you enjoy being the big spoon and the little spoon depending on your partner. Bisexuality lets you explore the full spectrum of human connection.

Built-in Bullshit Detector - Once you've done the work to accept yourself as bisexual, you develop a finely-tuned radar for authenticity. You can spot performative masculinity, recognize queer-coded behavior, and generally see through social masks better. It's like gaining a new sense.

Getting Started: Your Bisexual Journey Begins

So you're ready to explore - fantastic! But where do you actually start? Let's break this down into manageable, non-overwhelming steps.

Step 1: Get Honest With Yourself (But Be Gentle) Start by asking yourself some real questions, but without the judgment. When do you notice attraction to men? Is it physical, emotional, romantic, or all three? What scenarios pop into your fantasies? Don't worry about labels yet - just notice what feels good to think about. Pro tip: your dick usually knows what's up before your brain catches on. If you consistently get aroused by bi or gay porn, that's data worth noting.

Step 2: The Coming Out Conversation (With Yourself) Even if you're not ready to tell anyone else, have the coming out conversation with yourself. Literally say it out loud: "I might be bisexual" or "I am bisexual" or even "I'm not straight and that's okay." Hearing your own voice say it matters. It's like practicing a foreign language - the more you speak it, the more natural it becomes.

Step 3: Curate Your Input Start following bisexual creators, read bi men's stories, listen to bi podcasts. Replace some of your straight-only porn consumption with bi or gay content and notice how your body responds. Your brain needs reference points for this new identity. Some great starting points: the r/bisexual and r/bibros subreddits are goldmines of real talk from bi guys.

Step 4: Baby Steps Into Exploration You don't have to jump into a bisexual orgy on day one (though if that's your speed, we salute you). Start small:

• Download a dating app and set it to "everyone"
• Flirt with that cute guy at the coffee shop
• Join a LGBTQ+ sports league or book club
• Experiment with bisexual porn and notice what specifically turns you on
• Attend a gay bar just to observe and feel the energy

Step 5: Find Your First (Patient) Partner When you're ready to explore physically, look for someone experienced and understanding. Be upfront about being new - most queer men remember their first time and will be gentle guides. Apps like Feeld, OkCupid, or even Tinder let you be explicit about exploring bisexuality. Your profile could literally say "Bi-curious guy looking for patient first experience" and you'd be surprised how many positive responses you get.

Tips & Techniques for Exploring Bisexuality

Now for the fun stuff - how do you actually DO bisexuality? Here are concrete techniques for different aspects of exploration:

For Your First Male-Male Experience:

• Start with kissing and heavy petting - you don't have to go full porn star immediately
• Communicate constantly: "Is this okay?" "Does that feel good?" "Tell me what you like"
• Trim your nails (trust us on this one)
• Shower first, but don't overdo the cologne
• It's okay to keep your socks on if you're nervous - lots of guys do
• Have condoms and lube ready, even if you don't use them
• Remember: you can stop anytime. "This is too much" is a complete sentence

For Navigating Dating Apps:

• Use recent, honest photos that show your face and body type
• Be clear about your experience level: "Newly out bi guy" or "Exploring my bisexuality"
• Don't lead with dick pics unless they specifically ask
• Read their whole profile before messaging
• If you're not out, be upfront about privacy needs
• It's okay to ask questions: "What are you into?" "What was your first time like?"

For Managing Different Types of Attraction:

• Keep a journal tracking your attractions - patterns help you understand yourself
• Notice if your attractions shift with your mood, stress levels, or time of month
• Some guys are 90% into women but that 10% for men is INTENSE - that's valid
• You might prefer romantic relationships with women but sexual with men - also valid
• Your bi-cycle (fluctuating attraction) is normal, not a sign you're "really" one thing

For Playing Safely:

• Get tested regularly and ask partners about their status
• Use protection, especially for anal sex
• Learn about PrEP if you're going to be active with multiple partners
• Understand that STI testing is just part of being sexually active - no shame
• Set boundaries: "I'm not comfortable with that yet" is perfectly fine

For Handling Performance Anxiety:

• It's NORMAL to be nervous and maybe not get hard - doesn't mean you're not bi
• Focus on pleasure, not performance - hands and mouths work great too
• Some guys pop a Viagra for their first time - no shame in the game
• Remember: the other guy probably remembers HIS first time and gets it

For Exploring Different Roles:

• You don't have to be top OR bottom - try both, or neither
• Some bi guys love giving blowjobs but aren't into receiving - that's fine
• Your preferences might surprise you: plenty of "alpha" guys love being submissive with men
• Toys aren't just for women - prostate play can be mind-blowing
• It's okay to realize you're not into something you thought you'd love

Common Challenges (And How to Handle Them)

Let's get real about the speed bumps on this road. Every bisexual man hits these - you're not special in your struggles, but you CAN be special in how you handle them.

Challenge #1: The Identity Crisis Tango You thought you were straight for 30 years, and now everything's questionable. Maybe you're married. Maybe you have kids. Maybe your entire friend group trades in gay jokes. This identity earthquake can feel like your foundation is crumbling.

Solution: Build a new foundation, brick by brick. Start with small certainties: "I know I'm attracted to men sometimes." Then: "I know this doesn't make me a bad person." Eventually: "I know I'm still me, just more honest." You don't have to blow up your life to be authentic. Many bi men maintain their existing relationships while exploring ethically through consensual non-monogamy or hall passes.

Challenge #2: The Gold Star Police Some gay men will insist you're "actually gay" and some straight people will forever see you as "secretly gay." It's like being a perpetual freshman in sexuality school.

Solution: Remember that their discomfort isn't your homework. When someone questions your bisexuality, try: "I appreciate your concern, but I'm confident in my identity. If that changes, I'll be sure to update you." Then change the subject. You don't owe anyone your sexual autobiography. Find people who get it - r/bibros is full of guys dealing with the same thing.

Challenge #3: Dating App Fatigue Women assume you're secretly gay. Men assume you're experimenting and will ghost after one hookup. Couples treat you like a human sex toy. It's exhausting.

Solution: Get specific in your profiles. "Bi man seeking genuine connection" attracts different people than just "bi." Block early and often - you don't owe anyone an education. Consider bi-specific dating apps like BiCupid or just be patient. The right people will respect your identity. Also, pro tip: many pansexual and queer folks are more bi-friendly than strictly gay or straight people.

Challenge #4: The Masculinity Megaphone Suddenly every action feels like it has a sexuality spotlight on it. Do I sit differently? Talk differently? Dress differently? It's like being a teenager again but with mortgage payments.

Solution: Masculinity isn't fragile - yours won't shatter because you like dick. Notice how you naturally act around trusted friends, then extend that authenticity to other situations. The guys who seem most comfortable with their bisexuality aren't performing masculinity; they're just not performing anything. They're riding a motorcycle, cooking dinner, watching football, and maybe sucking dick later. All of it is masculine because THEY'RE doing it.

Challenge #5: The Relationship Math How do you tell your wife? Your girlfriend? Your bros? Your boss? It feels like you're holding a grenade made of feelings and everyone you care about is in the blast radius.

Solution: Start with the safest person first. Maybe that's a stranger online, a therapist, or that one friend who always "seemed cool." Build your confidence with small disclosures before big ones. For partners, try: "I've been thinking about my sexuality and realized I'm attracted to men too. This doesn't change how I feel about you, but I wanted to be honest." Some relationships survive and thrive - others transform. Both outcomes are better than living a lie. Check out coming out stories for scripts that worked for others.

Finding Your Bisexual Community

Here's something they don't tell you in Bisexual Brochures (if those existed): community makes this SO much easier. Not just for finding hookups - though that's nice too - but for feeling normal, getting advice, and remembering you're not the only dude navigating this.

Online Spaces That Don't Suck:

• r/bisexual: The mothership. 500k+ members, daily discussions, zero tolerance for biphobia
• r/bibros: Specifically for bi men. Sports, beer, and bisexuality without the stereotype police
• r/bisexualadults: For when you're past the "am I bi?" phase and into the "now what?" phase
• Discord servers: Search "bi men's" discords for real-time chat with guys worldwide
• Twitter: Follow #bisexualmen #bivisibility #bibros for your daily feed fix

Apps Where You Won't Feel Like A Unicorn:

• Feeld: Explicitly welcomes all orientations, including couples seeking thirds
• OkCupid: Lets you identify as bi and search for bi/pan/queer people
• Tinder: Basic but huge user base, just be clear in your profile
• Grindr: Yes, it's mostly gay men, but specify "bi" and you'll find others
• HER: Technically for queer women, but many bi guys report success here too

Real World Connections:

• Local LGBTQ+ centers: Often have bi-specific groups or can connect you
• Meetup.com: Search "bisexual" + your city for social groups
• Sports leagues: Many cities have queer softball, volleyball, bowling leagues
• Book clubs: Queer bookstores often host bi-inclusive reading groups
• Kink communities: BDSM munches and events are often very bi-welcoming

Events Worth Traveling For:

• Bisexual Pride Day (September 23rd) events in major cities
• Pride celebrations - but look for bi-specific programming
• Bicon (UK) or Bisexual Awareness Week events
• Burning Man and regional burns - notoriously bi-friendly
• Sex-positive conferences like CatalystCon or Sex Down South

The Secret Handshake: Bi men have developed subtle ways to signal to each other. The bi colors (pink, purple, blue) in accessories, the "bi finger guns" pose in photos, mentioning both "my ex" and "my ex-girlfriend" in conversation. It's not about being closeted - it's about finding your people in the wild.

Related Adventures: What's Next on Your Journey?

So you've accepted you're bi, maybe had some experiences, found some community - what's next? Bisexuality isn't a destination; it's a launchpad. Here are related adventures that bi men often explore:

Ethical Non-Monogamy: Many bi men find that polyamory or open relationships let them express different sides of their sexuality with different partners. Maybe you have a girlfriend who loves your romantic side and a boyfriend who shares your kinky interests. Resources like Opening Up and The Ethical Slut are bi-man approved.

Kink Exploration: Turns out when you're already breaking one major rule (liking multiple genders), other rules feel more breakable too. Bi men are overrepresented in BDSM communities - something about already questioning norms makes rope bondage, impact play, or power exchange feel more accessible. Start with BDSM for Beginners if you're curious.

Group Experiences: Threesomes, foursomes, and orgies aren't just porn fantasies - they're real experiences bi men can actually have. The key is finding the right play parties or sex clubs where bi men are welcome, not just tolerated. Swinger communities are increasingly bi-male friendly too.

Sex Work Exploration: Some bi men find that camming, OnlyFans, or escorting lets them explore their sexuality while getting paid. It's not for everyone, but it's more common than you'd think in the bi community. If you're curious, check out Sex Work for Beginners.

Relationship Anarchy: When you've already rejected the "one woman forever" script, other relationship scripts start looking optional too. Relationship Anarchy lets you build connections based on what works for you, not what society expects. Maybe your primary partner is a woman but your emotional intimacy partner is a man - and everyone knows and consents.

Gender Exploration: Not